[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.3s] Flint, Thea, and Eulara facing down a group of cultists who are now charging towards them.
[9.1s] I just whisper, glow motherfuckers, and I, and I cast fairy fire.
[14.3s] They say, wait, you don't run.
[17.6s] Four of the other ones rush forward ahead of them.
[20.0s] They can't hurt me anyway. I'm in the front. Don't worry about it, guys.
[22.6s] In a series of eight scimitar attacks that they rolled with advantage.
[27.9s] The first one runs forward and starts swiping at you,
[32.0s] but you just absorb this energy.
[35.1s] Eulara, out of the corner of your eye, you think you see a dark shadow.
[41.7s] Guys, I think someone's getting away. We have to stop them.
[44.1s] Girl, what you talking about?
[46.1s] Could we just pretend we didn't see you?
[48.2s] We're not going to let you go.
[49.9s] Just going to rip his weapon out of his hand.
[52.3s] Maybe slap him lightly.
[56.2s] So you have a prisoner now.
[59.2s] We take prisoners.
[60.6s] It's a new thing we're trying.
[61.6s] All right, so let's keep going to the sacrifice chamber then, Stefan.
[64.9s] Yeah, OK, great.
[66.5s] And as you step down that way, the jacquorn kick back on.
[71.5s] You guys keep walking.
[72.9s] Eulara, you feel like you hear something behind you.
[77.5s] So I say, did you guys hear that?
[79.5s] Can you hear that?
[80.8s] And I kind of have stopped and am like not totally turning around.
[85.2s] You two don't hear Eulara.
[88.6s] Eulara turns and looks behind her and then looks back.
[92.8s] And she is in a dark, silent hallway.
[97.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[98.9s] We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
[101.6s] And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[103.4s] And with me today is Tom Blair.
[105.6s] Hey, that's me.
[106.6s] Up first this time around, because Amy's too busy laughing.
[110.2s] I play FlintFirebeard.
[112.5s] And Carla Johnson.
[114.5s] That Amy and her laughing so charming.
[117.4s] Russ thinks so.
[118.8s] I play Eulara Moonbrook.
[120.8s] And Amy More.
[124.2s] I like to mouth the words so long when Russ says the intro.
[129.4s] And I didn't think he noticed until right now.
[131.8s] And I play Thea Amastasia.
[134.8s] I know, but my head is so small in that teeny tiny thumbnail picture.
[139.0s] And then there's the thing called peripheral.
[143.4s] Do I do a lot of head movement?
[145.1s] Yeah, you're real sassy with it.
[147.6s] We're actual play podcast.
[150.1s] If you want to see Amy make fun of me in person,
[153.3s] you can visit our Patreon, Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
[156.6s] Boom, we get like a ton new pages.
[158.9s] All the new pages.
[161.0s] Oh, I'm there.
[162.1s] Just a dollar a month.
[163.2s] You can watch these Skype calls or video recordings of the episodes we play.
[169.2s] They're unedited, so they're full of all that gloriousness.
[173.2s] All included.
[173.8s] Russ and I trying to have a conversation.
[176.3s] Just the two of us.
[177.6s] Well, Tom and Carla both get watered at the same time.
[180.5s] It's weird how we did.
[182.7s] OK, now I'm second guessing.
[190.6s] Also, part of our patron patronage,
[193.0s] Patreon, we dedicate an episode to a lovely patron,
[197.2s] who today is Carla and Nap.
[201.2s] I thought it was Carla Johnson.
[202.9s] I think Nap.
[203.9s] Nap.
[204.8s] Nap.
[205.7s] Either or.
[206.5s] Either way, it's Carla.
[208.2s] So she's the best.
[210.8s] Or one of the best.
[212.5s] She's pretty good.
[213.1s] It's all a tied one situation.
[215.3s] Yes, exactly.
[216.6s] Yes. So thank you, Carla.
[218.2s] Thank you for being a patron.
[219.4s] And if you want to check it out, Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
[223.6s] Fuck it. Let's play D&D.
[227.4s] Flint, Thea, Stephen.
[231.6s] And Nularaaaa are still walking down the hallway.
[235.2s] If I walk beside him, are we Stephen Wolf?
[237.9s] And Donnie or no Donnie?
[240.3s] That's awesome.
[241.0s] And Donnie.
[241.5s] That's awesome.
[243.4s] Yes, sorry.
[243.8s] Donnie is there as well.
[245.9s] You are walking down the hall that Stephen has said,
[248.6s] where it is leading you towards the sacrifice chamber.
[254.0s] And you are listening to the shaking of the mountain
[257.9s] above you as the japon blares again.
[265.3s] Outside, we see the dragons answering its call
[270.9s] and increasing their ferocity.
[273.9s] They are tearing apart ships and landing and picking people
[277.2s] up and throwing them into the air.
[280.6s] We see the allied forces being torn apart
[285.8s] as the metallic dragons try their hardest to fight back
[289.5s] at the increasing number of chromatic dragons.
[301.1s] Nularaaaa, you appear to be standing in a hall.
[308.4s] And your friends, to you, appear to be gone.
[312.6s] Guys?
[315.0s] Your voice echoes down the hall, more so than it did before.
[320.8s] The sound of the dracorn that you heard briefly is gone.
[326.7s] OK, I'm going to try real hard to psychic link with Donnie.
[331.5s] Can I do that?
[332.6s] Yeah, you sent him there.
[335.0s] OK, because we can communicate telepathically,
[338.8s] so I want to try and send him a message like,
[342.1s] Donnie, I can't see you guys.
[344.4s] I'm gone.
[347.3s] And I'm kind of freaking out.
[349.3s] You're sending this panicked message.
[352.2s] And while you sense that Donnie's there,
[355.0s] he isn't responding in the way that you would expect him
[358.4s] to respond to something so panicked.
[360.3s] In fact, he's humming a little tune inside his head
[364.2s] that says, I wish I could see you.
[368.1s] I wish I could eat Steppen.
[371.0s] He's going to taste so real good.
[374.0s] I wonder if I can eat him very soon.
[378.0s] I hope we stop walking so I can eat him up.
[380.7s] Donnie, Donnie, I'm not with you.
[384.0s] What are you, Donnie?
[385.8s] His song stops, and you hear a voice come from behind you
[390.6s] that says, I don't think they're going to be able to
[394.6s] respond to you right now.
[398.3s] OK, I mean, I guess I turn around to see what I see.
[402.8s] You turn, and you see a dark figure.
[408.0s] Looks like he's dressed in a large black robe that
[413.2s] is shielding his face in shadow.
[416.0s] In fact, he looks like he is entirely shadow.
[420.8s] And he says, Nulara, you've been doing good work for me.
[428.5s] Oh, so you're responsible for this.
[431.4s] And I, like, point at the dagger?
[434.1s] Is that you?
[434.6s] This your work?
[435.8s] You could say that, yes.
[440.0s] Cool.
[440.8s] So who are you?
[444.4s] I am a man of many names.
[447.8s] I've been around a long time.
[451.5s] I've seen many people try to wield the dagger,
[456.4s] and none have done quite so wonderfully as you.
[462.2s] Well, I'd say thanks, but that's a terrible compliment.
[465.4s] I don't want the dagger.
[467.5s] I want to be done.
[468.8s] Also, FYI, your timing is fucking terrible.
[473.0s] We're trying to stop the rise of Tiamat.
[475.0s] Can you press pause on this for, like, a day?
[479.1s] Whatever this is?
[480.8s] You'll be back with your friends in just a moment.
[484.0s] Don't worry.
[485.6s] I feel like we can help each other in this.
[489.8s] The dagger holds a lot of power.
[493.0s] I see you yourself have a lot of power already.
[497.8s] In your moment of need, or your friend's moment of need,
[504.8s] the dagger will be an ally in this place.
[512.3s] And for what?
[514.2s] I can't imagine you're just giving me this power as a gift,
[517.2s] so, like, what's the deal here?
[524.3s] The deal is every time the dagger is used,
[532.1s] my power becomes great.
[536.6s] Now, that may sound like you don't really like it,
[543.3s] because you have yet to succumb to the dagger's will
[547.5s] that some others have previously.
[552.5s] But be it Tiamat or myself, I
[558.5s] feel like there would be more order in a regime brought up
[564.8s] with yourself and me.
[570.8s] Right.
[571.7s] So you're looking for, like, a minion?
[578.3s] No, a partner.
[579.6s] Mm-hmm.
[582.3s] Make a wisdom saving throw.
[588.1s] 18.
[589.4s] You, for the first time since you've held this dagger,
[593.7s] feel like what this person is saying
[600.2s] is swaying your opinion of the things
[605.6s] that you have had to do and the things
[609.5s] that you can feel like are being suggested to you.
[616.0s] So I'm starting to feel like he's making
[617.9s] he's talking some good sense.
[619.7s] Yeah.
[621.6s] You told me before that I wouldn't have to hurt
[623.7s] my friends, and I don't want to have to hurt my friends.
[628.4s] You don't have to hurt your friends.
[631.2s] Now or ever?
[632.6s] You won't have to kill your friends.
[636.0s] In fact, your friends can come along with you and us.
[640.5s] Well, as I said, kind of busy right now.
[646.1s] So I'd love some help stopping Tiamat.
[651.0s] That'd be great.
[654.0s] And maybe we can revisit this whole partnership idea
[658.2s] after we stop the end of the world.
[662.0s] That sounds good.
[663.1s] Perhaps I can show you a good will of faith.
[667.2s] And he says, wake up.
[671.9s] And you are back walking behind your friends.
[676.5s] You turn around and you see a skeletal figure
[681.9s] standing behind you in black dragon scale armor.
[690.2s] The skin, due to time, stretched out
[694.5s] over this man's face, long flowing black hair
[700.4s] as he raises what looks like a deadly green glowing sword
[708.6s] towards you.
[710.7s] As he swings his blade down, you get first action.
[715.6s] Well, then I'm going to swing my blade at him.
[718.2s] Fuck that guy.
[723.1s] 15.
[724.0s] Does not hit.
[725.6s] Your first hit is knocked down by his sword
[728.5s] and hits the ground.
[730.4s] Guys, we're getting attacked.
[733.1s] You all do hear the clang of the blade as it hits down
[737.2s] and then Nularaaaa call out to you.
[739.7s] So 22, this one.
[741.4s] That will hit, yes.
[743.0s] 15 damage.
[744.1s] You strike in and find a break in his armor.
[747.6s] And he says to you, it is going
[750.8s] to be so nice to be able to bring the decimators of dragons
[756.5s] to watch Tiamat rise.
[759.6s] And he strikes down at you.
[761.8s] First one was a 14.
[763.7s] Second one was a 25.
[765.9s] Third one was a 22.
[769.3s] I mean, the second two obviously be amazing.
[772.8s] You manage to parry the first one away
[775.2s] and the second two strikes hit.
[778.0s] One on your shoulder and one on your leg.
[781.4s] You take 30 necrotic damage.
[785.1s] Fuck.
[787.4s] Damn, son.
[788.6s] And you must make a constitution saving throw.
[793.9s] Oh, my god.
[795.4s] 20.
[796.3s] OK, good.
[797.6s] Should Donnie go now with me?
[799.3s] I think he was right beside me.
[801.0s] Yes, Donnie can go.
[804.0s] I mean, I'm in the way, so he's not
[806.0s] going to want to breath it.
[810.2s] So he tries to bite.
[811.1s] It's a 10.
[812.0s] He'll try again, but 12.
[815.2s] 12 does not hit.
[816.9s] What a surprise.
[819.4s] And are we, how wide is this hall, like 20 feet?
[823.7s] Yeah, sorry, it is 20 feet.
[825.4s] Just needed to know.
[826.3s] I didn't want it.
[827.8s] I can't just take all the damage from this guy.
[830.2s] I don't want to just be the human shield this time.
[833.2s] Back to the top.
[834.2s] It is Nularaaara's turn again.
[838.7s] OK.
[839.2s] Back to the top.
[840.3s] You guys just rolled in an initiative.
[842.1s] Shit.
[844.6s] Sorry, I didn't think it'd be my turn again.
[846.6s] I already shrunk my character sheets.
[848.0s] So I could look at your beautiful faces.
[850.8s] 23, and that is 18.
[856.3s] Next attack is a 27.
[860.9s] 22.
[861.9s] You are hitting solidly, and it
[865.0s] doesn't seem like the damage that you think you're doing
[868.4s] is being equally distributed through to your target.
[873.1s] That seems right, damn crypt keeper dude.
[876.4s] I'm going to like, sort of, can I back away?
[881.8s] I want Donnie to be able to try and breath weapon him,
[884.5s] but I don't want to disengage and let him attack me.
[886.8s] How's that work?
[888.8s] Well, if you want to back away out of range,
[891.4s] you would have to disengage.
[892.7s] You have taken two actions though,
[894.3s] so you don't have that option.
[895.8s] So if you back away, then he
[898.3s] has an attack of opportunity.
[900.8s] I'm not really into that, so.
[902.6s] What if she just ducked as that fire breath
[906.1s] Yeah, just like flatten yourself on the ground.
[909.8s] That's possible.
[910.9s] There would probably still be a dexterity saving throw.
[913.7s] The skeleton has a turn next though, right?
[915.7s] So if you make yourself prone on the ground,
[917.8s] you'd be like.
[918.5s] It's not a great strategy in the long term.
[921.7s] OK, well Donnie will try and chomp him.
[923.9s] That was an eight, so that won't do it.
[925.7s] Oh my god.
[926.7s] And that was a crit fail, so that definitely won't do it.
[931.0s] Donnie's spooked by the sudden attack and flies wildly.
[935.8s] It is Flint's turn.
[937.7s] Flint, you hear coming from a hall up into your left.
[942.3s] You hear Drake roars.
[945.2s] And you also have Stephen in hand.
[947.5s] So how far away am I from this black armored soul
[952.6s] crepe keeper dude?
[954.0s] You were at the front, so we'll
[955.3s] say probably at least 15 feet.
[958.9s] And then you're another 20 feet from the hallway
[962.9s] where you hear Drake's.
[964.4s] I'm going to shake Stephen a little and say,
[966.7s] like, who the fuck is that?
[971.2s] That's Nergoth Bladeloord.
[973.6s] And what's his deal?
[976.5s] He's one of the originals of the cult.
[980.6s] Oh, an OG.
[982.2s] Yeah, that's what they call him.
[985.1s] Original Greg.
[989.7s] I can't even handle it over there.
[992.4s] Did I notice that Nularaaais attacks didn't
[995.4s] seem to be doing as much damage?
[996.8s] Make a perception check.
[998.0s] OK.
[1000.5s] Oh, fuck, that's a good roll.
[1001.7s] That's an 18.
[1002.9s] Yeah, you notice her hitting pretty solidly,
[1004.9s] and you don't really see any sort of usual blood
[1008.0s] spatter or anything.
[1010.3s] But being that you were just told
[1012.4s] that he's an original Greg, it
[1014.6s] could mean that he's just super strong.
[1016.6s] Do I have more time to talk to Stephen?
[1019.0s] How much chatting time does he have?
[1020.5s] I'll give you one more question.
[1022.3s] What was that other noise we heard up ahead?
[1025.4s] It's the Drakes.
[1027.3s] New mixtape or?
[1029.8s] Feel like you've made that joke already.
[1032.2s] Probably.
[1033.1s] Probably, yeah.
[1033.6s] We just haven't faced Drakes in a while.
[1035.4s] It seems like it's fresh again.
[1037.3s] Yeah.
[1038.5s] All right.
[1040.3s] Maybe I'll go tell them to.
[1043.2s] He starts walking.
[1044.8s] I'll go tell them that you mean no harm
[1047.1s] and that they should go back to sleep.
[1049.7s] Are you trying to, like, ghost your boy to sleep?
[1053.6s] That's a 16 deception.
[1057.2s] Do I have a roll against that?
[1059.3s] Insight.
[1060.8s] OK.
[1063.3s] Let me just go to my page here.
[1066.7s] Insight.
[1068.0s] So that's a, ooh, it's a 15.
[1070.9s] You feel like he might.
[1072.9s] Like, you're not 100% soul, but you
[1074.9s] feel like he might just be like, I'll just
[1076.8s] go put them back to sleep.
[1078.2s] All right, I'm going to, as I move towards Bladelord, dude,
[1083.3s] I'm going to throw, like, not overly hard,
[1086.3s] but I'm going to toss him down on the way.
[1088.6s] I'm going to toss Steppen down.
[1092.4s] All right, he is prone on the ground.
[1094.8s] And I'll move in to attack Mr. Bladelord.
[1099.8s] So that's a 22.
[1101.8s] That will hit.
[1104.5s] 16 slashing damage.
[1107.8s] You definitely get the feeling that not all of your efforts
[1112.9s] are being rewarded in this situation.
[1116.8s] I am going to put my axe away and draw out
[1122.0s] my moist tongue longsword.
[1125.5s] And I'm going to say moist.
[1130.5s] And I'm going to stab at this guy some more.
[1133.2s] He says, I welcome it.
[1135.0s] So that's a 21.
[1136.8s] He's all, like, dried up and, like, corpse.
[1138.7s] He probably wants a little hydration.
[1140.4s] Who wouldn't in this situation?
[1142.7s] It puts the lotion on the skin.
[1144.4s] Anyone else.
[1145.1s] Any other person.
[1145.9s] Anyone else.
[1146.6s] You should probably call it the moist maker.
[1148.6s] The moist maker.
[1151.7s] A little owed to friends, but this is disgusting.
[1154.1s] No, Ross is the worst.
[1155.9s] Ross gets no love here.
[1159.5s] 16 slashing damage plus six cold damage.
[1166.5s] You feel like that did a little bit more to him.
[1168.4s] OK, I'll go for a third attack as well with the moist tongue
[1173.3s] longsword.
[1176.2s] Oh, that's a crit 19.
[1178.4s] Yeah.
[1179.3s] OK, so is it all of the dice are doubled, Russ?
[1183.3s] Yeah, dice are doubled, modifiers just single.
[1187.6s] OK, I'm going to do the D10 plus first for just
[1192.0s] the slashing damage.
[1193.2s] And then I'll do the 4D6 separate for the cold damage.
[1196.4s] OK.
[1198.1s] OK, so that's 16 slash.
[1200.4s] Mm-hmm.
[1202.6s] 14 cold damage to go along with it.
[1205.0s] He's like, ah, yes.
[1208.4s] I feel the.
[1210.2s] So cold.
[1211.1s] So cold.
[1212.2s] Oh, wait.
[1213.5s] I am already dead and already cold of heart.
[1217.4s] It is Nergoth Bladelord's turn.
[1220.5s] And he says, I welcome you, new friend.
[1225.0s] And critically fails.
[1228.3s] So he just greets him.
[1229.6s] What happens to Nergoth Bladelord?
[1230.9s] He throws his sword in the air, which is going to flourish.
[1235.4s] Waves it around like he just don't care.
[1238.1s] And it's like his armor slips.
[1241.5s] From the moisture.
[1242.5s] From all that moisture.
[1244.4s] And smacks himself in the back of the head
[1246.8s] from all that moisture.
[1248.1s] He says, what?
[1249.3s] What vile-ness is this?
[1252.3s] And strikes out again at Flint for the first one.
[1257.3s] That's going to be a 21.
[1259.4s] Oh, yeah.
[1260.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1261.2s] 20 necrotic damage plus you got to make a constitution
[1267.0s] save.
[1268.1s] It's very burly.
[1269.3s] That's a 19.
[1270.8s] Yeah, that's fine.
[1273.2s] And he strikes his.
[1274.6s] So disappointed, Russ.
[1276.9s] And he strikes again with the sword at Nularaaaa
[1280.1s] as well, who is still within range.
[1282.0s] That's a 19.
[1283.3s] Yep, that'll do it.
[1286.0s] So that's the nine.
[1288.2s] Slashing damage does nothing.
[1289.8s] But the 10 necrotic damage, it does.
[1295.2s] Thea.
[1296.7s] Uh-huh.
[1298.0s] Your turn.
[1301.2s] Yeah.
[1301.9s] That's me.
[1302.5s] Yeah.
[1303.9s] I'm going to run up and kind of get
[1307.0s] to the front of the pack here, bolster my dudes to the side.
[1312.1s] I'm going to run up on them, bite them.
[1315.5s] Not 20.
[1317.0s] I'm not even going to roll.
[1318.1s] I'm not even going to roll my second one.
[1319.9s] Who cares?
[1322.7s] Maximum damage.
[1325.5s] That's 12, plus 10, 22, plus 4, 26 damage.
[1336.6s] Also, you must succeed on a strength saving throw
[1340.0s] or be knocked prone.
[1342.6s] That's a 23.
[1343.8s] OK, yeah, whatever.
[1346.3s] You're not going to take the wind out of my sails.
[1352.8s] Hello there.
[1354.1s] We're not introducing ourselves anymore because people already
[1356.5s] know who I am.
[1357.9s] So hi, everybody.
[1359.8s] Welcome to the middle of the show.
[1361.7s] Hi, you probably know who we all are, not just Russ.
[1364.0s] I don't know why he was like, I'm the DM,
[1367.2s] so I'm pretty sure.
[1369.0s] Carla's for sure waving right now.
[1371.5s] I waved.
[1373.0s] I know that's why I waved.
[1374.2s] Russ waved, and then I waved too.
[1376.2s] So many waves.
[1377.8s] Thank you for joining us for episode 78
[1379.9s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons, a show of good faith.
[1384.4s] And if you're liking what we're doing here on the show,
[1387.8s] which hopefully you are, seeing as we're on episode 78,
[1391.3s] join us on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast,
[1395.0s] where you can join our lovely community of people
[1397.5s] and get some sweet perks and rewards and stuff.
[1400.7s] Like for our $2 patrons, we sent you guys a holiday card.
[1404.9s] It's true, and you get a whole bunch of bonus content.
[1408.5s] It's different stories with different characters,
[1411.2s] and Tom leading some of that, and different games,
[1415.4s] and so that's fun.
[1417.6s] It's a lot of fun.
[1418.4s] And we just had our monthly goog hang,
[1422.0s] which was a blast.
[1423.6s] Oh yeah.
[1424.5s] Always such a fun time.
[1425.8s] At that $2 tier, you get to join us in that,
[1428.0s] once a month we hang out for an hour,
[1430.3s] we talk hot goss, and.
[1434.3s] And how right Amy is all the time.
[1437.0s] All the dang time.
[1438.9s] How right everybody is except Russ, all the time.
[1442.5s] And it's just a great time.
[1444.3s] So you can go check that out,
[1445.2s] Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast.
[1447.9s] And if you're unable to do that,
[1450.8s] because sometimes, we get it, it's a pledge,
[1454.8s] it's a monthly thing.
[1455.6s] Totally.
[1456.5s] We totally understand.
[1457.5s] But there are other things that you can do
[1459.1s] to help the show reach more ears,
[1461.8s] and grow a little bit bigger,
[1463.7s] and some of that includes writing reviews.
[1467.2s] Like some of these lovely people
[1468.0s] that we're gonna talk about right now,
[1468.9s] and tell you how awesome they are,
[1470.4s] for telling us that we're pretty great.
[1473.0s] Let us tell you how awesome they are,
[1474.4s] for telling us how awesome we are.
[1476.3s] All right, this was a Facebook review
[1478.6s] from a Brad Zimmerman.
[1480.4s] He gave us five stars, which is awesome.
[1482.5s] Thank you so much, Brad.
[1483.4s] He says, I love the Dumb Dragon crew.
[1485.7s] Great fun to listen to,
[1486.8s] and just makes me want to play, play, play.
[1489.1s] I think that's like the goal.
[1490.4s] We want people to play, play, play.
[1492.4s] Yeah, that's it.
[1493.2s] Yeah.
[1494.0s] Is this iTunes?
[1495.2s] This is an iTunes one.
[1496.5s] Ooh, this is an iTunes review.
[1497.3s] Apple podcast, Apple podcast.
[1499.1s] Get the branding right.
[1500.0s] Gosh.
[1500.8s] Gosh.
[1501.6s] It's like I don't know anything
[1502.5s] about that kind of stuff.
[1503.8s] This one is by skimborderoc from the USA,
[1509.0s] and they say, PCs, NPCs, and DM
[1512.7s] run headlong into adventure,
[1514.2s] and drum up some of the funniest dialogue around.
[1517.1s] Full story segments in every episode,
[1519.2s] with minor out-of-character banter.
[1521.2s] All of this makes for a great flow,
[1522.8s] and easy immersion.
[1524.3s] Accidentally homebrew rules
[1525.8s] keep things a little soft core,
[1527.7s] as well as suited for non-rude Nazi types.
[1534.0s] I'm assuming they're made up.
[1534.8s] Non-rude Nazi, rule Nazi.
[1537.5s] But we don't want any rude Nazis either.
[1538.8s] I don't want rude Nazis either.
[1540.2s] No, none of them either.
[1541.1s] Only those really nice ones.
[1541.9s] Only polite Nazis, geez.
[1544.5s] I'm gonna take a hard line, guys.
[1546.3s] No Nazis.
[1547.1s] No Nazis.
[1548.0s] Fair enough.
[1548.8s] I know, I said it.
[1549.6s] Okay, yep, yep.
[1550.5s] So, best of all,
[1552.8s] no politics.
[1554.8s] Grandstanding in the middle of D&D fun.
[1557.8s] Yeah, we don't talk politics.
[1558.8s] Except right now when we say no Nazis.
[1560.9s] Yes.
[1561.8s] Not politics?
[1562.6s] I don't know.
[1563.4s] I guess, but.
[1564.3s] Yeah, they kind of set us up there.
[1565.4s] Yeah.
[1566.3s] Sorry about that, skim border OC.
[1569.3s] It's all good.
[1570.3s] We won't get too far into it.
[1571.6s] And thank you.
[1573.0s] My turn, it must be my turn.
[1574.2s] Is it my turn?
[1575.0s] It's your turn.
[1575.8s] Okay, this is also from Apple Podcasts.
[1578.7s] It is from Air Sick Jungle,
[1581.0s] which I feel like needs like a sweet guitar lick
[1582.9s] after that username.
[1584.2s] Russ, can you put that in in post or?
[1586.0s] Nope, that's even better.
[1587.7s] That's so much better.
[1588.5s] Please, don't put anything in it in post.
[1592.4s] They say, definitely binge worthy.
[1594.7s] I'm a fairly new listener and I'm finally caught up
[1596.7s] after about two months of solid binging the show.
[1599.5s] I love the chapters, but even more,
[1601.7s] I love the group's dynamic.
[1604.3s] That's us, they like us,
[1605.4s] cause we're friends.
[1607.1s] Because we pretend we're friends, at least.
[1609.6s] We're not really friends when it's happening.
[1611.4s] I'm not pretending.
[1612.7s] I'm not this good at pretending.
[1617.8s] That's true, that's true.
[1620.2s] Oh, well, I guess we're friends.
[1621.6s] We also want to give a pretty, pretty huge shout out
[1624.5s] to at pod candy review on Twitter.
[1628.3s] There isn't a day that goes by
[1630.0s] that they don't share us to somebody
[1632.3s] looking for podcast recommendations.
[1635.0s] That's awesome.
[1635.9s] So many times.
[1637.7s] Sometimes it's like 10 times in a day.
[1639.6s] So thank you.
[1640.9s] Wow.
[1641.8s] Thank you so much.
[1642.6s] No kidding.
[1643.4s] Thank you so much.
[1644.3s] Thank you at pod candy review.
[1645.5s] Geez, Louise.
[1647.6s] And so if you would care to leave us a review,
[1651.9s] we would really appreciate it
[1652.9s] and we'd love you so, so very much.
[1654.4s] Yeah, can't you just tell by the sounds of our voices
[1656.9s] how just unbelievably smitten we are
[1659.0s] for reading these things?
[1662.5s] We love it.
[1663.4s] We love you.
[1664.2s] We hope you are awesome for,
[1667.2s] nope, that's not a good way to say that.
[1668.4s] We hope you're awesome.
[1669.2s] We hope you're awesome.
[1670.1s] We hope you're doing awesome.
[1670.9s] We know you're awesome.
[1671.8s] We know you're awesome and hope you're doing awesome.
[1674.2s] That's what I meant.
[1675.3s] There you go.
[1676.1s] See, this is why we're a team
[1677.7s] because we pick up the slack
[1680.0s] when I don't say things right.
[1682.6s] So if you could do that, that would be super great.
[1684.4s] Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Podchaser,
[1687.2s] Podknife, Facebook.
[1689.0s] Podbean.
[1690.7s] I don't think they allow you reviews,
[1691.9s] but if they do, go for it.
[1694.0s] We'll find it and we'll read it because thank you.
[1697.7s] Links for everything mentioned today
[1698.8s] can be found in the description,
[1700.1s] including the Dumbgeons and Dragons Discord
[1702.5s] and the Reckless Play Guild Facebook group
[1704.6s] where we have joined up
[1706.2s] with the End of Time and Other Bothers,
[1707.8s] Dark Dice and the Lucky Die
[1709.3s] and we talk D&D and we talk the shows
[1711.6s] and we have a grand old time over there too.
[1714.2s] So you can come get to know us
[1715.3s] and we can get to know you
[1716.3s] and it's just a great time.
[1718.8s] Over the past few episodes,
[1721.2s] I don't know if you guys have noticed,
[1722.8s] but we've also started making a bit of shift
[1724.5s] in the music that we're using.
[1726.2s] So a shout out to Scott Buckley, scottbuckley.com.au.
[1730.2s] He makes amazing Creative Commons compositions.
[1734.9s] Can say that five times fast.
[1736.5s] Creative Commons compositions.
[1738.1s] That's the one and a lot of them
[1739.8s] are perfectly tuned to the emotions
[1741.6s] that we're just trying to just harp on
[1743.5s] in this last little bit of the arc here,
[1745.8s] just like pulling at those heartstrings
[1747.6s] and emotional highs and lows.
[1750.6s] So go check him out at his website there.
[1752.7s] Watch his Twitch streams and stuff
[1754.7s] because he's awesome.
[1755.9s] Next episode will be out next Wednesday, April 3rd,
[1759.2s] but let's get back to this one and see what's going on.
[1762.5s] Have a great week.
[1763.5s] We'll talk soon.
[1764.5s] You hear those Drake barks coming from behind you
[1775.1s] and they have entered the tunnel.
[1778.0s] Stefan sees them and begins running towards them
[1783.2s] and past them.
[1786.0s] Peace out motherfuckers, it is gone.
[1788.6s] We all knew it was coming, so.
[1791.3s] The four Drakes rush towards you
[1795.5s] and each of them move to attack you.
[1799.1s] Two on Flint, one on Nularaaaa, and one on Thea.
[1804.8s] So we'll go Flint. Seems fair.
[1806.5s] Two attacks.
[1807.6s] One with its bite, one with its death.
[1809.1s] That's a 13 and a nine.
[1812.7s] The second one.
[1813.5s] 17 and a natural 20 with its tail.
[1818.1s] Tail attack will hit.
[1821.0s] Well, of course, because it's a nat 20,
[1822.4s] so it would hit regardless, but.
[1823.8s] Yeah.
[1824.7s] So that's 13 bludgeoning damage that you receive
[1827.1s] from that tail.
[1828.0s] I will take 10 of that bludgeoning damage, thank you.
[1830.7s] Thea.
[1832.0s] Yeah.
[1832.8s] That's an 18.
[1834.6s] Yeah.
[1835.4s] And a 23, 22.
[1838.5s] Yeah. Yeah.
[1840.2s] Seven piercing damage.
[1842.0s] Ouch.
[1843.9s] I growl.
[1844.8s] Four bludgeoning damage.
[1846.2s] Jesus.
[1847.0s] And Nularaaaa, neither of those would have hit you anyways.
[1850.0s] So now there are three Drakes right behind you.
[1854.2s] And we're back up to the top.
[1856.7s] It's Nularaaaa.
[1858.1s] I am going to just attack again with Dragon Slayer.
[1864.6s] Oh my God.
[1866.8s] It's hard when you have such a small surface.
[1868.9s] It's like, I didn't realize how aggressively I unrolled.
[1870.7s] You need a little rolling box.
[1872.1s] There you go.
[1873.6s] Yeah, I do.
[1874.4s] I should get something so it's a bit more contained.
[1876.5s] That first attack is a 12.
[1878.5s] So probably not gonna do it.
[1881.4s] Sorry, no, you're attacking Nergoth?
[1883.1s] Yes.
[1884.0s] Yeah, nope.
[1885.1s] Okay, how about a 27?
[1888.5s] That one worked better?
[1889.9s] That one worked better.
[1890.7s] What if you averaged both of them?
[1894.1s] So that is 16 slashing six magic.
[1900.1s] I'm gonna get Donnie to try and bite a Drake, I think.
[1903.6s] Sure.
[1904.4s] Rather than the fucking gross dead dude.
[1909.1s] Oh yeah.
[1909.9s] I put my mess on him, doesn't taste good.
[1911.7s] Yeah, it seems like kind of grody.
[1914.8s] He rolled a 10 that time, so not great.
[1918.4s] How about a 21 though?
[1920.5s] Yeah, 21 will hit.
[1922.4s] Okay, so that is 11 damage on the Drake.
[1926.2s] He takes a big chunk out of the back of this Drake.
[1929.2s] Nergoth Blade Lord for his first one
[1932.6s] moves to strike Nulara.
[1937.0s] 27.
[1938.4s] I mean, yeah.
[1940.4s] And a constitution saving throw
[1942.6s] as you take your 20 necrotic damage.
[1944.8s] Oh god.
[1945.6s] Oh god, this guy's really getting me.
[1949.2s] Not good.
[1953.0s] Well, that's a seven.
[1955.5s] So not great.
[1957.5s] Not great, guys.
[1958.7s] Your hit point maximum is reduced by 20.
[1963.3s] Oh no.
[1965.4s] Rude.
[1968.7s] His second attack goes towards Flint, 16.
[1974.0s] His third action, he is disengaging
[1976.8s] and begins moving quickly back down the hall.
[1983.1s] Flint's turn.
[1983.9s] Okay.
[1985.7s] So he's moved about 30 feet down the hall there.
[1988.9s] Flint.
[1989.8s] Doesn't seem like we're over like how,
[1993.0s] can I roll a perception roll or anything
[1994.4s] to see if he still looks okay?
[1996.8s] Certainly doesn't seem like we're hurting him much.
[1999.1s] Condition-wise?
[2000.4s] You don't even need to roll a perception.
[2001.6s] He's definitely taken a large amount of damage.
[2005.8s] There are serious signs of wear showing in his armor.
[2010.7s] Roll an insight.
[2015.5s] I mean, he could just be running
[2021.6s] cause he needs the cardio.
[2022.9s] Okay.
[2023.8s] Dead guys often need cardio, it's true.
[2025.9s] Rule one.
[2029.7s] So you figured he's like 30 feet away, 35 feet.
[2033.2s] What did you say?
[2034.6s] About 30.
[2035.4s] So technically out of my reach of 25 then.
[2040.6s] Oh yeah, you're slow.
[2042.0s] Look at your little legs.
[2042.8s] He's not slow, he just has the time.
[2045.1s] Little tiny legs.
[2046.4s] Yeah, it puts him back at the tee
[2048.2s] where you had turned left.
[2052.0s] But yeah, he's just outside of your quick walking range.
[2057.3s] I mean, this is one of these times
[2058.3s] where we let him go so we don't all die.
[2060.9s] I mean, I don't know.
[2061.7s] I feel like this guy's got some serious like mojo
[2064.1s] on his side.
[2065.0s] So if we can, but if we are hurting him,
[2068.0s] then it's, ah.
[2068.8s] Ah.
[2074.0s] I'm gonna put you on a timer in just a moment here.
[2078.0s] Just having to think here, don't worry about it.
[2080.8s] You need a recap of the scene around you.
[2083.6s] Okay, well as far as I remember,
[2084.9s] there's the three drakes behind us.
[2087.5s] This dude has moved.
[2088.7s] There are four drakes behind you.
[2090.8s] The dude has moved 30 feet away.
[2092.8s] Stepping, you kind of see periphery, he has left.
[2097.4s] He is no longer in sight.
[2099.2s] Makes sense.
[2100.0s] Cowards.
[2100.8s] Yeah.
[2101.7s] All right, I'm gonna use one of my actions to dash.
[2104.0s] Okay.
[2104.9s] And I'm gonna head back over him
[2107.2s] and attack him just a whole bunch.
[2111.0s] Okay.
[2111.8s] Just a whole bunch.
[2113.3s] Also, are we still doing healing searches?
[2115.2s] Cause I would like to do one of those.
[2117.4s] Yeah, you can do one in every one.
[2118.7s] Excellent.
[2119.6s] I'm gonna do one right now as I'm heading over there.
[2123.7s] Sweet, give me the 12 hit points.
[2126.3s] Okay, so with my guest's second action,
[2130.4s] cause I burned one dashing.
[2132.6s] Yep.
[2133.4s] I'm going to attack him.
[2136.0s] And that is a 21.
[2138.3s] That will hit.
[2139.2s] Okay, dealing up my moist long sword here.
[2143.7s] 27 damage.
[2145.6s] He's definitely really not looking good.
[2147.7s] Okay, gonna hit him again.
[2149.6s] Hold on, you can keep that roll, whatever it was.
[2154.1s] No, no, it's fine.
[2155.8s] It was a 24 for attack,
[2157.1s] but I don't want to do it if that was like,
[2158.8s] if you're doing something.
[2160.6s] Make a perception roll as you're swinging
[2163.7s] this last attack here.
[2164.9s] Okay.
[2167.4s] That's a critical 19.
[2168.8s] You hit him a real hard with this last one,
[2173.6s] but then through your back swing,
[2176.4s] you see coming down the hall towards you
[2179.6s] a horde of zombies.
[2186.6s] How far away from me are they?
[2191.6s] 20 feet.
[2193.7s] Okay, as a little bonus action,
[2196.8s] am I able to grab that finger bone
[2199.0s] and break it in half?
[2201.6s] Yeah.
[2202.4s] Perfect, I'm going to do that
[2203.3s] cause it casts protection from undead on me.
[2206.9s] Yeah, perfect.
[2208.4s] And I'm going to keep attacking this fucking guy.
[2211.2s] Hold on, I have to make sure
[2212.9s] that nothing specific happens when that happens.
[2218.0s] Way to remember the items that you have.
[2220.0s] I'm very proud of you.
[2221.6s] Me too.
[2223.3s] I'm like, I knew I had it, forgot it did.
[2227.2s] Okay, so scroll protection from undead.
[2231.1s] You must know,
[2235.6s] causing a five foot radius sphere around you
[2238.2s] that moves with you for five minutes
[2240.9s] or until dispelled.
[2242.9s] To enter the sphere or target those
[2245.8s] within an undead creature
[2248.2s] must make a wisdom saving throw.
[2250.6s] On a fail, the creature cannot enter
[2253.7s] or target those inside.
[2255.5s] On a pass, the undead creature
[2257.4s] is not subject to the effects.
[2259.0s] So it's got to make a saving throw.
[2262.4s] Maregoth Blade Lord is already within that
[2265.0s] because you did that.
[2267.6s] But yeah, the other things coming towards you
[2269.8s] will have to make a saving throw
[2271.8s] in order to get at you.
[2273.6s] Okay, all right.
[2275.6s] But it doesn't turn them away,
[2277.3s] which I thought it might be.
[2278.1s] No, it does.
[2279.2s] Yeah, whenever you move as to force an undead creature
[2282.0s] into the sphere, it fails a save,
[2284.2s] it's pushed back 15 feet.
[2285.6s] Keep reading the spell, Russ.
[2287.2s] You gotta read to the end.
[2288.1s] So Maregoth Blade Lord, as you crack this thing,
[2291.0s] wisdom saving throw, that's a 17.
[2295.3s] So he passes.
[2296.6s] So he is still within your sphere.
[2298.3s] Perfect, because I wanna keep attacking him.
[2300.2s] Exactly.
[2301.1s] That's exactly what I wanted.
[2302.6s] Okay, so that previous attack roll was a 24.
[2305.4s] That will hit.
[2306.2s] Okay.
[2308.9s] 25 damage.
[2311.0s] Tell me what happens when you kill Maregoth Blade Lord.
[2317.6s] Killed original Greg.
[2320.0s] I'm assuming that I just completely put all my muscle
[2325.8s] into this last attack.
[2327.8s] And as the moist long sword, like,
[2331.5s] yeah, that's right, Amy.
[2332.4s] I gotta keep saying it.
[2333.4s] Thanks a lot, Ty.
[2334.2s] Does it plunge into him?
[2336.2s] No, it doesn't plunge into him.
[2337.5s] As it touches him for the last time,
[2340.8s] he just kinda crumples into nothingness.
[2344.5s] Like there's still a husk,
[2346.6s] but it's just kinda on the ground, kinda shriveled.
[2352.2s] I like that.
[2353.0s] Like an old leather bag.
[2354.4s] Yeah.
[2355.4s] Exactly, exactly like that.
[2357.3s] I like that.
[2359.5s] Okay.
[2360.5s] Rose imagery happening all over.
[2362.3s] That's perfect, I love it.
[2363.3s] That's all you can do for your turn?
[2365.3s] Well, I mean, I did have the option of an action surge,
[2368.3s] but if I don't need to take it,
[2369.4s] I'm not gonna take it, so.
[2371.0s] I mean, the closest zombie is 25 feet from you.
[2374.1s] You have just killed Maregoth Blade Lord.
[2375.3s] I'm gonna let the zombies come to me
[2376.8s] because I can do that because I've got that protection
[2380.2s] and they need to pass the save to get to me, so.
[2382.4s] Sure, sure, sure, sure.
[2384.2s] Thea.
[2385.0s] I'm gonna bite one.
[2386.8s] They look juicy.
[2389.5s] I'm gonna re-roll, cause I have advantage.
[2392.4s] It looks thick with two C's.
[2394.9s] Yeah, it did.
[2395.8s] Thick.
[2397.1s] And that's a 17 plus six,
[2401.2s] so I win.
[2404.4s] 23.
[2405.2s] Game over, guys, Amy won.
[2406.5s] Game over, I won.
[2407.3s] Yeah, roll your damage.
[2408.2s] That's it.
[2409.1s] My damage is 2d6 plus four.
[2413.0s] I mean, I know we can write the story as we go,
[2415.2s] but I didn't think we could just say I win.
[2418.2s] Would have been such a short podcast.
[2420.3s] Seven, and he has to have a DC,
[2423.2s] no, a strength saving throw.
[2425.5s] Nope.
[2426.4s] Yeah, he's prone, motherfucker.
[2430.3s] You bite into this drink.
[2432.2s] I'm taking a bite out of crime.
[2433.4s] And knock it to the ground,
[2435.6s] which is a very difficult process for you,
[2438.7s] but you managed to do it.
[2441.0s] The sound of the jacquorn fades
[2443.9s] and you hear the rising groaning yells
[2449.0s] of the oncoming zombie horde
[2451.4s] as it rounds the corner near Flint.
[2455.4s] From behind you, you hear down the hall calls
[2461.4s] from humanoid or human creatures
[2464.8s] as they move in to fully surround you
[2469.1s] in the volcanic halls of the Well of Dragons.
[2474.1s] Sometimes the
[2489.4s] Some of the music in today's episode is by
[2491.3s] Kavin MacLeod of encompetech.filmmusic.io
[2494.4s] and Scott Buckley at scottbuckley.com.au.
[2498.2s] Sound effects can be found at boomlibrary.com
[2501.2s] and at sirenscape.com.
[2503.6s] Donnie doesn't know about rhymes.
[2505.0s] Yeah, he's not a great rhymer.
[2507.0s] No.
[2507.8s] And I have seen many people try to wield
[2513.6s] Dagger McFuckface.
[2515.2s] You didn't say Dagger McFuckface.
[2516.5s] No.
[2517.4s] No, but he has been referring to it as that.
[2518.2s] That'd be really great though,
[2519.6s] if you could force him to say that.
[2522.5s] I've needed you to kill Stefan this whole time.
[2525.8s] It has led to this moment.
[2527.6s] Stefan is my nemesis.
[2529.7s] Stefan is the key to the whole dagger thing.
[2534.5s] McFuckface and Moonbrook, limited.
[2539.2s] And when you said Minion the first thing,
[2540.9s] I was like, banana.
[2542.6s] Banana.
[2544.1s] So I'm starting to feel like he's making,
[2546.0s] he's talking some good sense.
[2547.7s] Yeah.
[2548.6s] Great, great, great, great, great, great, great.
[2550.9s] I love this game.
[2552.0s] I was like, I only like this game
[2555.6s] when everything matches my own personal ideology.
[2558.1s] Exactly.
[2559.0s] Because it doesn't make me be evil.
[2559.8s] I do, I don't like it.
[2560.8s] Your friends, your friends.
[2562.6s] I was gonna say, did you hear this?
[2564.4s] I haven't heard it yet.
[2565.3s] Exactly.
[2566.4s] Dot, dot, dot.
[2568.4s] Dot, dot, dot.
[2569.2s] You two aren't there, shut up.
[2570.8s] Sorry, we miss our time to shine.
[2575.4s] That's, that's, that's Nergoth, Nergoth.
[2579.5s] Greg.
[2580.3s] I can't, that's Greg.
[2582.4s] Greg.
[2583.4s] That's, that's Nergoth, fuck.
[2587.6s] Nergoth, Blade Lord.
[2590.0s] Nergoth, Blade Lord, for his first one,
[2593.4s] disengages and steps, nope, not for his first one,
[2597.7s] that one, dumb.
[2599.6s] Dumb, Russ.
[2600.7s] Rewind.
[2602.3s] It's my turn.
[2604.5s] You don't see it as obvious yet.
[2605.3s] I don't know why I turned this way
[2606.8s] and then spoke to the rest of the room.
[2609.0s] My turn.
[2609.9s] We have an audience here.
[2610.7s] The microphone is right there.
[2613.2s] It's my turn.
[2616.6s] Is that how we're starting our turns now?
[2617.8s] I really like this.
[2619.6s] It's my turn.
[2620.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.